Don't Borrow Trouble From Tomorrow: A Healthy Lifestyle Requires A Calmer Life

Things I have learned; some the easy way, some the hard way.

Worry is a natural human instinct, but too much of it can be seriously detrimental. When that voice in your head starts playing endless "what if?" scenarios, you're essentially stealing peace of mind from your present self. I can still hear my older brother, a Benedictine priest, saying, “Don’t worry about anything, it might never happen.” And I have learned to add, "Even then don’t worry."

You endure worry for events that might happen, then if they do, you've doubled your dose of stress! Here's the truth: life is unpredictable, and a certain amount of stress is always going to be there.  But how we react makes all the difference.

The tips below aren't about eliminating stress entirely – that's impossible. They're about building habits that make you less vulnerable to worry, giving you the tools to handle tough situations more calmly, and allowing for more simple joy in your everyday life.

Taming Your Schedule to Reduce Daily Hassles

1. Respect your sleep schedule.  For me, this was a game-changer. As an OB/GYN physician, I was constantly awakened from a deep sleep many times. This was followed by dragging myself through the next day. So I learned to take naps whenever I had a little time from my practice. Setting a regular bedtime and wake-up time retrained my body's rhythm. Mornings feel infinitely less frantic when I'm not groggy.
2. Say "no" with confidence. We often feel trapped by obligations. Be brave enough to set boundaries, decline non-essential tasks, or ask for help if a project exceeds your bandwidth. I was amazed by the inability of many of my women patients not being able to say no. Having to bake cookies for your child's preschool class is not a critical issue.
3. Don't be afraid to delegate! This doesn't have to be at work. Kids old enough to help with chores? Partner who could run a few errands?  Identify those little burdens you can safely hand off to others.
4. Embrace simplicity. We often get swamped not by major crises, but by the relentless accumulation of stuff and clutter. Own less, clear physical and mental space, and discover how light it feels. Whenever I visited India, I was amazed at the amount of luggage people carried on their heads. It is amazing how free one feels when you eliminate excess baggage.
5. Plan some buffer time. I try to leave for appointments 15 minutes earlier than strictly necessary. That tiny cushion makes a  difference – fewer instances of panic-driving while being late. I found this to be especially true in my surgical cases. It not only relieved my stress, but helped me avoid the wrath of the surgical nursing supervisor who makes the operating room schedule.
6. Pace yourself. Rushing leads to mistakes or burnout. Big life changes – moving, job switches – should be treated like marathons, not sprints. Plan them thoughtfully and schedule manageable chunks of work or change over time.

Letting Go of What You Can't Control

1. Live one day at a time. We can only truly act in the present, but how easily our thoughts become consumed by yesterday's regrets or tomorrow's fears. The past is past; it cannot be changed. The future is unknown. The present is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
2. Separate worries from concerns. When I find myself spiraling, I ask, "Can I take concrete action to change this?"  Concerns have tangible solutions; worries don't.
3. Stay within your means. Overextending financially makes everyday anxiety far worse. I felt tremendous relief when I finally paid off credit card debt. Now, it's for emergencies only, not impulsive buys.
4. Have small backups. I started this after locking myself out of my car – twice! An extra house key concealed outside and a few key necessities prepped in a "go bag" reduces those panicky moments.
5. The power of K.M.S. (Keeping Mouth Shut). Our urge to react – a snippy retort, a gossipy text – often ends badly. Learning when to walk away or simply stay quiet has significantly improved my relationships. One of my worst regrets in this life occurred when my favorite mentor allowed me to assist in delivering some of his patients while I was an intern. I was so excited I mentioned this to one of my best friends in the non-medical field. Unfortunately, his sister was a patient of my mentor. He incorrectly told her that I was delivering all of this doctors patients. Naturally, this got back to my mentor, who was extremely irritated with me. I never again was able to assist him with a delivery to this day. It is one of my worst memories.

Cultivating Joy and Inner Peace

1. The antidote to seriousness. Rediscover what delighted you as a child! Do silly things just for the sake of it.  Sing loud and off-key, doodle funny pictures, have an impromptu dance party – it feels incredible to be carefree. One of my wife's favorite memories is me playing the ukulele, (which I was unable to do), and singing 5 foot two, eyes of blue. I should mention I have the worlds second worst voice.
2. Beat boredom productively. I used to waste waiting room time scrolling mindlessly.  Now, it's my reading time; the books stack up surprisingly fast. I read about one book a week, and am never bored.
3. Prioritize the basics. Sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, and disorganization create fertile ground for stress. Treat these with utmost respect.
4. Mindful commuting. Traffic used to drive me insane. Now I choose audiobooks or inspiring podcasts – my drive has become a time of learning and personal growth.
5. Journaling as self-therapy. Putting your thoughts on paper offers a unique kind of mental release. Sometimes it helps me realize an issue was less serious than it seemed in my head.

Conclusion

It's undeniable that aging brings inevitable changes, but living mindfully can lessen the burdens.  It's not about looking younger; it's about feeling healthier and experiencing greater joy at every stage of life. Through managing stress, nurturing inner peace, and simplifying your daily routine, you can create a life of contentment and resilience. The wisdom gained over time is its own reward. So, how will you choose to embrace the gift of the present, knowing that it shapes your future well-being?